The phone rings unexpectedly. It’s a call from school. “Yes, I’m his mom. What’s going on?”
Fear crouches up to sit beside me.
Fear is a liar. Satan prowls around like a roaring lion, waiting to steal, kill and destroy. He is waiting to steal this moment, kill any joy and destroy any sense of peace. This is especially true when trying to make memories of the good things God has given—time with my boys, a challenging message at church, or even a peaceful rainy afternoon when I want to rest from it all. The fear, the anxiety, the panic, can steal the joy I might normally have.
The frustration is, what do I do about it? I know that there is only so much I can control, with a large part requiring a change in my perspective. I can control how I think and feel about the situation. I have recited scripture when faced with debilitating fear and panic. These were moments of true crisis in the past. In these moments, when fear slithers through, not over a life-changing grief or trauma, but over something seemingly small, as in a voicemail from the school. In those moments, where do I turn? Where do you turn when you see that text and now have anxiety about that relationship? Where do you turn when you don’t have the email returned in the first few days?
Turn on the TV to get into a good story, have a laugh, escape to a British period drama? Turn up an audiobook or podcast? It’s in moments like that we turn to the Lord, “I lift my eyes to this hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth” (Ps 121:1-2)
When fear rings loudly, sometimes over something so small, I’ve found it helpful to grab a still moment if I can. When the fears seem to parade around unabashedly, almost taunting the quiet –to read and reread time and again what I know in my heart to be true. Though I know it’s true, yet again I find myself doubting on this frustrating morning over a phone call from the school. Repeat again and again, learning and relearning in moments that seem so insignificant, but they are moments where who and what we turn to for comfort defines how we weather our future storms. How will you find comfort when fear sneaks up to sit at your feet? “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you (Ps 56:3).
